Don't be so sad, Bob. Your end shall not come soon!

Yet another word of encouragement from Dr. Park...but I shall move on to other subjects.

Tis love I seek. Not the normal, cliche love, but the love of something more inanimate. Perhaps the love of being original. It's an obsession, and it'll never run out of steam, never becoming boring, never become something lost in time. It is original, therefore, it is god-like. If original is to have god-like attributes, then originality must be God. To be God is to challenge God, therefore it is something all simple creatures such as humans wish to posess. The stories of Faust always come to mind whenever I think about originality and being God-like. Faust sold his soul and got whatever he desired, but in the end he died. Perhaps due to his selfishness taking over his common sense, but perhaps because he took the wrong path. To sell your soul to the devil and gain this invincibility for a short period of time is probably not the way to go to challenge God's wrath. The whole story of Faust had nothing to do, literally, with challenging God, but in my view...yeah, I tend to warp things slightly out of proportion at times.

In art, the people who have created the most original, genius-ridden masterpieces are much more praised and desired than an artist that does anatomically-correct, non-imaginative masterpieces. Utakata Houjyou certainly fits into this category. He's created a somewhat unique, mysterious quality from his mind to his work, and now has many online browsers looking at it in complete and utter awe.

No, art is not the only place in my heart that I wish to be 'original' in. I will be the most god-like, original-thinking genius this world has ever seen. I will confuse you all, and you will try hard to understand me. I will do things not expected of me; senseless actions that seem not of my character. My point is not to let you fall into a false sense of security of my quiet, well-mannered exteriour. When I break from this shell, my friends, there will be hell to pay. I will be originality. I will be a God challenging the world, and perhaps our God himself. I'll challenge him to challenge me in more ways that any person on this earth could imagine, and THEN, only then, will I be truly satisfied that I had done everything useful with this imagined bravado of mine.

I say to God, challenge me. This starvation is hardly enough strain on my mind. Can you do more to make me prove my loyalty and superiourity? I'm always here, in my room, in the warm bed with the pillow by my side, my face emotionless and my heart pounding for an answer...I want the answer.

Give it to me, God. If you're up to the challenge, that is.


Life is so ironic. You fight all these horrible diseases, fight against old age, to only end up meeting your ill-fated destiny sooner. That destiny is called death.

Dying is very appealing, looked at the right way. There are so many ways little Bob could die.

A. He could be molested, beaten, and cut to little bits.

B. He could die from a heart attack.

C. He could die wanking.

Don't you wonder how many ways little Bob could die?


...Henceforth, dear Osmundus, I traveled far from my home, and lived within the blazy confinieries of a volcano in Sicily. I stayed there for two years, not allowing mental anguish overtake me. I felt so powerful, my love, but soon the one that claimed you entered the sacred volcano, and I was forced to find another escape.

I traveled beneath the seas, eating only fish and sea creatures, drinking the blood they carried. It was small, but plentiful, and my heart kept my frail body going. I reached a country called Canada on the 6th of November. They told me I had traveled too far north, there I weeped. I long for you, dear Osmundus, and soon I shall rescue you from the evils of your newfound world. Keep faith in my will, love.


Mmm, yeah. Mod's choice feels really good at the moment. I received those 5-months-in-waiting comments in a mere 2 days.

And guaranteed, I got trolls with that lovely 5-in-2 package.

I think I may love trolls than the praise-commenters themselves. I find great joy out of making them look foolish. Foolish fiend, I sayeth! Go backeth to your holeth, you ignorant fiendith! Go backeth! Backeth!


Oh ho ho, those american puppets. Little do they know that Min-dawg here has the brain of a university graduate, hands faster than the speed of light, and the knowledge of five bulldogs on her side! Only, if I wasn't so held back by morality, I would be king! I would trample over Canada and take their leader hostage! Five million dollars...

Maybe that Adolf Hitler documentary wasn't necessary.


Indulging in another 2 hours of Buffy tonight, hugging my puppy pillow, I couldn't help but think that I am hardly attracted to Spike, aka James Marsters, in that sort of way.

Then I fell asleep.

I sincerely hope that North Korea bombs someplace--and frankly, I don't care where--so that maybe, for once, America would take their arrogant heads out of their anuses and smell the truth. That'll probably be the only thing that it'll take for the U.S. to realise how futile it is to waste their time on Iraq, which it has been quoted, a developing North Korea. Shouldn't you stop the main problem before taking on the small nitpickers? They always say tackle the big problem first.

Oh, and that Kim Jong Il "Super-Robot, who'll only hurt us in his super special power of mecha way" joke wasn't even funny. In fact, I'm insulted. They take this threat way too lightly.

Sorry, it's just I keep on thinking about those people in North Korea starving...it's horrible. The story about the one lady being beaten so horribly that her eyeball popped out, and after they were finished with her, she had to put it back in...I'm sorry, but I find North Korea to be the more threat than Iraq. How could you not? People are not suffering like this in Iraq. Guranteed, they are suffering, but not this much.

God, we're going to World War.


I was wondering yesterday why I ever had a crush on the Undertaker when I was only a wee child.

I guess this explains it.


Anti-Catholicism...does it exist?

Anti-Catholicism, as ridiculous as it may seem to people of the faith, does exist. It's been there in the past to discriminate against Catholic immigrants in America (more in depth: The Know Nothing Party that existed in America during the 19th century), and here in the present.

Present, you say?

In the media today, if a single inkling of news about anything not moral leaks out to the public, the journalists are quick to make a big story of it. This is really quite suprising that they don't cover anything of the Protestant nature, as there has been reported of 70 such child abuse allegations every week in their church on the average. Is the media pro-Protestant? Well, considering that Christianity (down to any denomination excluding Catholicism) is 3/4 of the main-stream religion today [in the U.S.], there is good reason to believe so.

Mostly, the reason it seems that anti-Catholicism started (before the abuse cases), was because of these two beliefs:

1. Catholics are superstitious, and/or practicing magic. Catholicism could also be believed as being Pagan in nature.

2. The Catholic religion is accused of being against freedom and democracy.

I doubt that the views that this all started from are in the stronghold as they once were. Now the Catholic Church is viewed as money-grubbing people who have a whole rank of molesting priests, Catholic girls that are equal to the Japanese school girls you'll often find in that pornographic nature, and the believers are nasty, ready-to-convert-on-moment freaks. Frankly, I think the last part could be applied to Protestants all the same.

Then, comes the Protestants calling Catholics 'cultists'. Why do they separate Catholicism from Christianity, but it doesn't go the same for other denominations of Christianity? Well, this is one of the main arguments you can read on a protestant site, Planetwisdom.com.

-Catholic vs. Christian, Why do people do this?

-Christianity and Catholicism...Differences?

-off-topic debate:The Antichrist--are the times upon us?

For fuller understanding of Catholicism, you can visit Catholic.com.

In all honesty, I'm sick and tired of Protestants bashing our religion, whereas I really don't see them at any better. This applies to anyone else who think it's okay to be Anti-Catholic. Is it alright to be anti-jewish? Anti-African American? Well, no. It's not okay to Anti-Catholic.

And no, I'm not anti-Protestant.


Since it was the 30-year something anniversary of the legalisation of Abortion in the United States, there needed a saying in this. From yours truly, of course.

My view on in: Abortion should be legal.

Catholic's view on it: Abortion is a sin and should have never been legalised in the first place.

My explanation: I support abortion. Not just because I'm a 'woman', but because it's unnecessary to put another person on this earth that won't be loved or taken care of. Yes, I know, you can take your unwanted child and give it to a adoption agency, but I think it would be best not to give it there, according to the stories I've heard about it.

Secondly--if you were to take the unborn child outside of the womb right now, could it survive? Is it fully developed yet? My belief is that it is not a human being until it's born.

Then, of course, I haven't been necessarily addressing rape or incest. Rape/Incest in itself causes great mental anguish on the victim, and to be carrying the rapist's baby seems to make things worse, in my view. I wonder if the 'Christians' ever considered that.

The Catholic's explanation: Abortion is murder. Murder is a sin. It is a very unforgivable sin to take one's life, in any sort of case. Once the baby is conceived, it has a soul and therefore is a person. They will only support abortion in extreme cases (ie; major health concerns that affect the mother that could lead to death).

So...who's right?


Now, there have been numerous debates about this, but I think I shall dirty myself with their ignorant filth for once.


Since the birth of the internet, there has been somewhat of a grammatical decline with what is supposed to be our future generation. On the net, it's no suprise to read something to the extent of "omg helloooooooo im back fom schoooool yayyayayayayyaayayaaay!!!!!!! do u no wht? a gaiii at mi school is soooo hottt n he talked to meeeee n i paniced im such a n00b lolllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111" on a webpage (to clarify it more, to the extent of a journaling service, Livejournal.com).

With this, one only has to wonder why so many kids struggle at learning the proper way of using English.

Counter-debate: We're not growing up to be writers. Why should we learn the proper way to write and speak english?

To answer that--how do you expect to get a job writing in just |33t? I'm sure filling in your name as "j0naTh.a.n |0P3Z" won't go very well with your intelligence rating with the employers. Main word here? Intelligence. There are many significant things that will occur in your life that will require that you have a good grasp of English. Start practising it now. You'll thank yourself later.

Counter-debate: But it's shorter and more convenient to use it!

Well, if that IS the case, let me ask you this: Exactly how much effort does it take to type 'you' instead of 'u'? As for |33t goes, that isn't even valid, because it takes longer than just typing like a civilised, well-learned person.

Counter-debate: Hey, it's not like we actually write like this in RL.

Do you wanna bet? To go from typing like this "i luv u omg u r so hot" to this "Male Femininism is very rare and unaccepting in our modern society today."...can you make the transition? Most people cannot. Their grammar and spelling breaks down, and they use it in RL too.

The main point is, I don't want to live in a world with dramatically dumbed people who spent their life on the internet talking in Net-Speak/|33t. How much more can you shame the English language by raping it of its quality?

Off-topic Counter-debate: Why can't we just call it american? See? I can't even understand english people and we have different words than they do!

..well, so have the English. We have different accents, not different languages. Trying to make a debate out of this really is quite lame. Well, are you going to leave out Canadians and Australians too?

"Oy! Oy! Oy!"

"Ozzie! Ozzie! Ozzie!"

"Oh god! I'm Australian!"


A confirmation! I will be seeing Sting on February 8th. The world sighs in relief as all the trivialries of my life seem to disappear (for the time being).

Alas, I shall soak in the comfort of a warm, strawberry-scented bath and relax. Pretty white clouds...

On another quite disturbing note, my '6th sense', which I regard all decisions and prophecies to, are telling me that one of my teachers is a rapist. I've caught him staring down my shirt. One time he started talking about a table menu at Hooters. He seems awfully quiet, mysterious, awfully untrained in his profession, and very perverted. I get a sick feeling every time I'm around him. All I can think about is "Hate him. Hate him. Rapist. Don't go near him. He stares at child porn. He stares at child porn."

damn, i'm paranoid.


Ah...before I leave, I must get geeky.

Geographical Location of Unique Visitors of this Blog:

US-Commercial: 62

Unknown: 19

Network: 11

Australia: 2

US Educational: 2

United Kingdom: 1

Canada: 1

Sorry, the lady of the house is amused.

My ingenius reigns supreme once more.

I thought about it all last night, lying next to my orange-white dog pillow, thinking about the Golden Globe Awards, particulary Adaptation. There's really something appealing to creating a film such as that...what that certain something is I cannot name, but I do wish to try.

I dream of a twisted story. Here is what I can say so far:

A 16-year old man, with a formal accent and formal qualities to himself, is found strangled, kidnapped, and taken to a hellhole in the South. He has no idea what he's doing there, but somehow, he has someone claiming to be his father and mother, and he is sent everyday to school. There is the infamous principal with dyed-blue dreadlocks and huge red glasses, and jocks and preps who spend every inch of their life being their stereotyped selves. This man, put into this dilemnia, has a very hard time conforming to this, and secretly works at a job that has people dying from its grueling work every week. He is keeping the money to move back to the North to be with his girlfriend, aka the love of his life.

Not only this, but he has to deal with hicks taking his money, a strange teacher who spends his mornings staring at the clock, and bodyguards locking him in the school's dirtiest of bathrooms. And yet after being told to keep his mouth shut and conform to society, he still speaks out against all of this and in the end...could go back to the North. Or perhaps he'll go to England. Or Germany. My german's not too good.

On second note, the more loonies people I meet on MSN, the more I want to wear sporty underwear on my head, run about all over town, and catch a plane to Germany, screaming "Po! Po! Gut Po! Du bist so gut!"

In all honesty, when you first talk to a person, you don't honestly talk about your spewing of your eaten lunch all over the table and "Oh! I had diahrea in my pants! brb..."

Protestants...you really do scare me, sometimes.


Bush: "I talked to my little brother, Jeb--I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of--I shouldn't call him my little brother--my brother, Jeb, the great governor of Texas."
Interviewer: "Florida."
Bush: "Florida. The state of the Florida."



Two nights ago, I received one of the best gifts a person could give to any liberal-minded woman. Not love, not ecstasy, and no, not a trip to Great Dragon Buffet on Main Street, but alas, something to amuse me for hours on end. It was a small calendar--but look, no sighing or "Is that it?" is needed, because this calendar has insanely hilarious Bush quotes on every page. Not just a calendar now, a 'poke-fun-at Bush Calendar'! My mind has had been far too healthy lately.

On another, this-is-my-life note, on February 8th I could be within eye-sight of this man. I certainly hope the $45 invested into this is worth it.


Greg Proops, a man who I frequently crush about. This adds to the extensive list of strange crushes I've had on people--Mark Calloway, Glenn Jacobs, Brock Lesnar, Tony Head, and Mana. Don't have a clue who these people are? Well, let me continue.

Mark Calloway-- Wrestler, aka The Undertaker. Most liked during the All Black era.
Glenn Jacobs-- Wrestler, aka Kane.
Brock Lesnar-- Wrestler. Most liked when he was with Paul Heyman.
Tony Head-- British actor, mostly noted for being in the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Mana-- Was in a Visual Kei group, Malice Mizer. Crossdresses, and fools a whole heck lot of eye-sour men and women :)

Good night.


The Monday, January 6th, 2003.

This glorious morning I spent in the comfort of my own bed, caterwauling my pains to the saffron yellow walls in my room, making it quite clear that a rousing day of learning was not in keen sight. Between light-purple sheets and my dampened white pillow, my eyes came agape, staring at the ceiling. Two weeks ago I had taken what was left of my Halloween makeup and painted a red, bloody cross up there. It only stayed for a day--the next morning the parental units didn't approve of it, and cleaned it off. So much for my spiritual connection.

I had a strong urge to do it again. I could still make a little of the cross out. Wincing, I swurved my head around to my closet. More red stains still lingered there. I sighed, buried my head under the sheets, and slumbered for another 3 hours.

And to imagine, all this time I hadn't touched my math homework! I'm really procrastinary. I should get off and get to the bloody thing. Something tells me that I won't, though.

(Well, ain't like anyone would check it anyways. Give me a break, I was sick! Me--> Wanker. Woo!)


Usually, I don't do this, but I slipped on a pair of jeans while listening to Ozzy Osbourne today. Busily cleaning up all my art supplies and what-nots, I began to think," It's a bit draughty in here..."

Pondering for a long moment, I looked down and realised that my pants were ripped.


Again, my most credulous Americans! I have for you something that, even if put in neutrality, hints a questioning against your leader.

The problem with North Korea can be solved peacefully, doing much not to aggravate. The problem with Iraq can be solved peacefully, but our leader's objectives seem to lean toward blood-maddening war. Being this, for a moment (which I will contradict myself, but this is only for good level-headness, see) equal partners in this threat against the world, why does Bush insist on being so aggresive towards Iraq, but peace-loving when it comes to North Korea? Agitation for the attempted assassination of his father? Well, I've already talked about it in the last entry; it's already been answered.

Maybe I could see the point in Iraq being deadly for Bush's personal and unheard reason: "He tried to assasinate my father, and we ain't gonna let dem git away with that, are we?" Then again, I have to consider what I know about North Korea, and the fact is this, North Korea cannot be trusted. They are not to be trusted.

Ah, I feel quite condescending and unbearably witty. It's becoming quite the unfigurable nuisance. I fear this is all from listening to intelligent people. Either that or I've spent too much quality time with my BBC and PBS :)